February Review: Leadership and rubberbands
We began February further clarifying our vision for 2010. The first three rounds of visioning involved three criteria which I supplied:
1) What is nourishing to me?
2) What is inspiring to me?
3) What is realistic for me?
The fourth round of visioning involved looking at one’s own values criteria, what I refer to as the “Big V” vision. Everything one aspires to create in one’s life matrix (the eight categories we are working with: lifestyle, health, creative expression, self development, social life, intimate relationships, career, and finance) needs to be clearly connected to one’s own deep values. In other words, it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s important to me.
At this point, I instructed everyone to establish four milestones toward each of their clear goals. For example, if my health vision is to be strong and flexible, then a goal which might demonstrate that is running a 5k marathon at the end of the year. Well, a 5k is a little more than 3 miles. If I break up my year into quarters, then by March 31, I want to be able to run, say, 1 mile comfortably. By June 30, 2 miles. By September 30, 3 miles. This is the rough sketch of my strategic plan.  I want to do this for each of the areas of my matrix–get some clear targets.
I also suggested at this time that a visioning board is a great tool. Gathering pictures from magazines or online of my completed goals, and putting them on a poster board as a collage is like seeing what my garden will look like in full bloom. Images are more powerful creative tools than words. (Think about cooking a new recipe–if you have a photo of the completed dish, it is easier than just following verbal instructions.)
Finally, I stressed the imperative to stay entirely focused only on those parts of my process over which I have control. More creative energy is lost trying to change things beyond my control than on any other bad habit. The only appropriate response to things beyond my control is to accept them. Period. Then, get back focused on my vision.
The following week, I returned to the rubber bands that I had given everyone the first week of class as a clue to the year’s topic. I asked everyone to place their matrix (which looks like a cross between a pie chart and a bulls eye) at the end of his or her mat, and to place the rubber band in front of him or herself. I asked the question, “How will you get your rubber band to your target?” Everyone experimented will assorted ways, from throwing it, to carrying it, etc. I then asked, “What is the most efficient way?” Most people said, “Carry it there.” I pointed out that carrying the rubber band meant that I had to exert all the energy, but that shooting the rubber band made use of the rubber band’s potential energy, and was therefore the most efficient way. “But what if I miss the target?” several asked. “That’s just a function of practice,” I replied.
I then demonstrated: I placed my target at the end of my mat. I placed the rubber band in front of me. I picked up the rubber band, stretched it to test its potential, and then wrapped one end around my left index finger and the other end around my right index finger. I aimed at the target, made a few adjustments, increased the tension, took a deep breath, and released the rubber band. If I missed (which I did a couple of times), I simply went through the process again, making appropriate adjustments.
This process of assessing, activating, harnessing, directing, and releasing energy toward targets is called LEADERSHIP.
Each person is the leader of his or her own life. You LEAD your life. Any time someone attempts to bring his or her vision into the world, it requires leadership. Inevitably, there will be conflict and resistance, and how that conflict and resistance is handled is a function of leadership. So, looking at my own vision, at my own targets, the only way they will materialize is if I lead myself to them. It’s me, the rubber band and the target.
If my target is a mile away, I will get there one shot at a time, and the distance of that shot will depend upon both the potential of both my rubber band (external resources) and my own strength, focus, patience, adaptability, persistence, etc. (internal resources). “The ability to successfully integrate and maximize available resources within the internal and external environment for the attainment of organizational or societal goals,” (Ken Ogbonnia) is an excellent way of defining leadership.
For homework I asked everyone to think of examples of leaders that they both admired and had antipathy toward, and to identify what characteristics they saw being demonstrated that created those reactions. When we discussed this homework the following week, I told everyone to look at the positive leadership qualities as the very potentials they themselves would need to call up in order to reach their visions. AND I mentioned that the negative leadership qualities would also need to be worked with as the shadow potentials, or blind spots, that would hinder their reaching their goals.
What we all agreed upon was that inspiring leaders all work with a clear understanding of the interconnectedness of life, whereas poor leaders always operate through dividing and splitting. Dividing and splitting (win/lose, me vs. you, us vs. them, etc.) is not a sustainable strategy. All of Nature fights against it, as the nature of Nature is wholeness. When our own plans align with wholeness, all of Nature supports us. When I understand how my good supports the greater good, I have access to power than I lack when it is my good vs. the greater good.
I offered some questions to help clarify commitment at this point: Looking at my goal, why do I want to accomplish this goal? Why is it important to me? What opportunities will I gain by achieving this goal? What will I miss if I don’t achieve it? How am I well suited for this goal? What do I already have going for me?
Finally, last week, we started talking about distraction. I asked everyone, “What do you habitually use to distract yourself from your goals?” The list was varied, from TV and internet, to worry, other people, emotional dramas, reading, procrastination, and on and on. We all agreed that these distractions served the purpose of avoidance, to which I raised the question, “Why am I avoiding taking action on goals which I myself chose?
Fear. Right now, I feel secure in my habits. They create a certain quality of stability, even if unpleasant or even painful. If I start taking different actions, I will have different results. Things will change. I will change. My relationships will change. Since I cannot predict and control outcomes, there is uncertainty. This is scary, especially to the ego whose whole job it is to create some semblance of security for me. So the first thing to realize is that fear is a part of the creative process.  It needs to be acknowledged when it arises. But fear is not a stop. The question is not, “Will I be afraid?” The question is, “What will I do fear comes up?” This, too, is a fundamental question of leadership.
I suggested as a mindfulness exercise that everyone begin to witness and label four distinct distractions:
1) Getting seduced by more immediate gratification. I planned to cook a wholesome meal for dinner, but I ended up getting take-out.
2) Being paralyzed by fear in all its forms. This includes perfectionism, procrastination, worry, etc.
3) Being unable to ask for and obtain the support, cooperation and help that I need. No one lives in a vacuum, and no one is able to materialize one’s vision alone.
4) Getting overwhelmed and not knowing what to do first.
The assignment was to simply notice when these four distractions arose, and to label them. “This is me being seduced by immediate gratification.” Putting the lights on is the first step.
Finally, this week, I shared my own technique that I have been working with.  Every Sunday, which I consider the beginning of my week, I envision my week ahead. I write down what part of my plans need to happen next. For example, part of my lifestyle vision includes some specific improvements in my house, one of which is clearing my basement and turning it into a workspace. At the beginning of February, my basement was full of old boxes and packing material, and other junk. I knew that that needed to be cleared out first. So, I enlisted my mother’s help to break down the boxes, and began to put out a percentage of the trash each week with my regular trash to be picked up. This week, I had as part of my plan to put the last round of boxes and packing material out.
My plan for this week also included going to the gym three times for 30 minutes of cardio, since keeping my lungs and heart healthy is a part of my big vision of growing old well. I did not say which three days, since in my experience this is a trap. Suppose I’m planning to go Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but Wednesday I wake up with a splitting headache? I need to give myself flexibility within my plan. I also put down a date I planned to go on, drinking 8 glasses of water a day, picking up paint samples for repainting my downstairs, and many other assorted things. These all went into the weekly plan.
Each morning, I write morning pages (those of you unfamiliar with “The Artist’s Way,” these are at least 3 pages written freehand first thing every morning.) I take the time in the morning to envision my day ahead, and then I make a to-do list of which things from my weekly plan will be executed that day. I mark next to each of the things on my list which part(s) of my life matrix is being nourished by this action. Gym nourishes health. Date nourishes social life. Paint samples nourish lifestyle and creative expression. I can see in black and white the actions I will take to take care of myself and move toward my vision.
This practice is incredibly grounding.  My day then unfolds by me simply following my own lead. As I complete the things on my list, I check them off. This also builds confidence, will and self-esteem, since I can see in front of me my own progress and capacity to take action on my own behalf.
At the end of my week, Saturday, I do an evaluation: what worked, what didn’t work, what’s next? I look at my results and use them as feedback for adjustments I need to make in the new week’s plan. What I’ve discovered is that in any area where I am having troubling results, it is always because I did not take the time to plan in advance. Anything I want to do is going to require resources, internal and external. Those resources need to be budgeted in advance in order for me to be successful. I need to know how much time to set aside, how much energy I will need, and when the best moment is to take action vs. to rest.
This also means I need to know myself well, know my own rhythm, limits, needs, priorities, etc.. For example, I budget into my day a period of rest. I know I need some down time, to do some restorative yoga or take a hot bath or a catnap, in the afternoon before I teach in order to have energy for my students. I include that in my plan. I also include open space, time to do nothing, to watch TV, to play video games, to hang out with my dog, to read for pleasure because these are all things that I enjoy and find nourishing. They are only troubling if I am using them as a distraction, as an avoidance. In and of themselves, they are not a problem. How I use them is the issue.
Operating with this technique is like target practice. I choose every day what I’m going to be shooting for. Some days I hit all my targets cleanly; others, not so much. But when I miss, I just reset the target, reestablish my focus and resources, and take another shot.
February 24, 2010
Posted in: 2010 Lessons
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